It's funny how one decision can affect you in such a way, that when you look back on it your face just grins and smiles so much, it's hard to stop yourself from just wanting to cuddle up to yourself in that moment. So I don't stop it - I just embrace it and grin like an absolute bender.
That decision was to meet up with a woman who I'd been chatting to on the net for only a few months. Whilst not the most romantic of starts you may think, as the story progresses you shall see how insignificant that detail is compared to how far things have come now.
I remember standing at the tables outside the Wetherspoons at Liverpool Street, nervously waiting for her to turn up. Cigarette in one hand, pint of Guinness in the other, checking my texts to see how far away she was. Then I saw her........... now I'm not going to be cliched and say it was love at first sight - but the first thought that came into my head was PHWOOOOOOAAAAARRR!!! She was smiling away (with a kind of nervous look upon her face admittedly) and then came over to me and gave me a great big hug!
Now those of you that appreciate a good hug, will know what I mean when I say that the moment she wrapped her arms around me and squeezed, I knew that was something I wanted more and more of.
I charmed her instantly with the immortal line of "Christ! You are booby aren't you?"
How the fuck we progressed from there is beyond me.
Then later on that night, we had one of the trampy big issue sellers come up to us. He asked "Is this your girlfriend?" to which I replied "Not yet she's not!" Mainly because I'm a cocky cunt, and also because I could tell there was something special about this woman.
Several meetings later and both realizing there was something much more than the occasional hook up. We decide to go to the music festival LoveBox http://www.lovebox.net An absolutely amazing day together, drinking, dancing, and I decided to take the plunge whilst eating a Hog Roast and finally asked her to be my girlfriend - thankfully she said yes! The look of sheer panic in her eyes was adorable <3 At that time we both had emotional issues going on, but in my heart I knew it was the right thing to do. Probably the best decision I've made in my life so far.
That fateful date was July 15th 2011 -this year LoveBox was held on June 15th. A whole month before last years event. This minor detail both of us failed to notice until about a week before we were going for our Anniversary. This is where the "Almost a year" in the title comes from.
This didn't phase us, as we would be spending time together, standing on the same ground we did last year, when 'Us' officially began. I can't help but refer to everything in the sense of Us, We, Both etc. As without her - I'm not complete.
Long distance relationships do come with their problems -not having the person you love beside you is the main one. Regardless of however long the time is we spend together, that first night of not having someone to cuddle up to, to say goodnight to, to feel them fall asleep in your arms (sometimes snoring like a bastard), to just 'feel' them next you. When that is gone - you realize that you need that person in your life.
Over the past year I have lost count of the amount times I have sat at home, wishing she was with me, to cuddle up to, to feel her next to me, to just lay together on the sofa watching films and stroking her hair, to feel her in my arms and knowing that while she is there she is feeling safe. However in some kind of flipside to the distance being an utter bag of bollocks, it makes spending time with each other so much more valuable!
During this past year I've never felt so happy than when we're together. To just be with someone and not have a clue of what is going on around you, as you are so content with them just being with you, is something that can only be experienced and not easily described. It's almost like a tunnel vision kicks in and all you see is them before you. Their smile, their laugh, that look in their eye that lets know you know that they are feeling exactly the same thing - just sitting here thinking of it is making me smile - because I know I get to share that with her and I know she feels the same.
When I look back on all the memories we've shared together, places we've been, things we've done, it just makes me get that fuzzy feeling inside. You can't put a price on just how precious that feeling is to have.
I cannot wait to look back in years to come and still have that same feeling.
There's no doubt in my mind I've found 'The One' (Not Keanu Reeves - yes I had to google how to spell his name), my soul mate, my best friend, my Ellie (See the film Up for that reference) my one true love. Yes it's only been a year, yes we live far apart, but I find it hard to believe that the feelings I have for her can be bettered. Yes they will grow stronger over time, but even now just feeling that buzz of excitement that she's going to read this and go Awwwww a lot, knowing that I'm seeing her soon and get to have her with me. It just fills me with tingles and butterflies and a feeling of pure content.
Yes I'm a lot scruffier and beardier, but the look we both have has hardly changed over that year. If anything, it's gotten stronger and that makes me the luckiest and happiest person on this planet to have that woman in my life, and for me to call her my girlfriend.
Colette I love you with all my heart, I know I say it everyday and I mean it everyday. You have given me happiness, love and an affection that cannot be beaten. For this, I am eternally grateful and you can well and truly consider yourself stuck with this old rubber faced weirdo for the rest of your life!!
All my love
Craig xxXxx
i welled up. thats just so lovely! <3
ReplyDeleteI love you loads <3 xxxxxxxxxxx